18 March 2013

Never Be Ashamed to Buy Your Own Lube.

Saturday night at work was the busiest night I've worked since before Christmas.  There was a great combination of circumstances that lead to this, but mostly I think it was just that time to get fucking wasted.

January is usually pretty slow, everyone's bogged down with bills or has drank their fill through the holiday season and hasn't quite yet forsaken their resolutions to not drink ever again.  Considering that most people's resolutions, particularly those to never drink ever again, usually come across like a 16-year-old's protestations of future sobriety an hour after downing their first micky of white rum and then puking in five different places that night, I don't really have any respect for them.  Empty threats, things that will be said and never done.  I totally respect people when they do decide to stop drinking, forever or for a certain time period, but the vow usually has a different level of sincerity when it's spat out between mouthfuls of vomit and tears as you cry into the shrub by the front door.

04 March 2013

I'm Never Shopping Here Again!!

I’ve been threatened at work more times than I can remember.  Some customer will come in and find that something isn’t the way they want it and throw those utterly horrifying words at me:

“I’m never shopping here again!”

The funny thing is that that phrase is never mentioned when it’s deserved.  Well, actually, I’m not sure.  I’ve never been around for or created one of those situations, so I’m not sure if they’ve ever been said appropriately or not.