Thursday? It's almost Friday, so it counts as Dirty Thursday. Christmas? Yep, totally a drinking holiday. St. Patrick's Day? Naturally. The Irish are always drunk anyways. Ash Wednesday? Fer sher. Easter? Why the fuck not? Maybe the Easter bunny will deliver you some of those little liqueur chocolates. I don't really have a problem with any of this, I don't judge anyone. I see a lot of regulars, some of them every day, some every two days, some less frequently. Okay, I lied. I judge some people. If you're counting out nickels to get one of the smallest bottles of beer we sell - which is only 89¢, by the way - I'm going to feel something.
There's a certain 'setting aside of one's morals' that goes along with the job. I definitely feel bad for some people. I've never been addicted to anything in my life, I don't have that type of personality. I drink, but not a lot. I tried weed, but was just sort of 'meh' about it. I've never smoked cigarettes and I've no desire to try harder drugs, so there's a limit to how much I can sympathize with people addicted to alcohol. Without people needing and wanting to drink, I wouldn't have a job, but I do feel bad sometimes and wish there was something I could do for some people.
It's been a long winter, but I think we're finally getting into Spring. Of course, now that I've said that, I expect another blizzard later this week. There's been so much sunshine the past few days, it's been incredible. It's like the sun and 15°-above temperatures soaked into everyone's skin and gave them a natural energy high. It started Thursday. Most people have Good Friday off work, and a lot of people have a four day weekend this week. Kids are off school and there's plenty of time to laze about, and with the good weather, of course you're gonna wanna have a few beers and sit in the back yard.
Remember how I said the Saturday before St. Patrick's Day was the busiest day since before Christmas? Thursday was another one of those. Busy all night long with barely a 10 minute break from the madness. It makes the night go faster, for sure, and it's a good thing. The only thing was, everyone was so frigging happy, it was weird! Everyone was laughing and joking, smiling and so ready for the long weekend. It was awesome. This continued all through to tonight, Sunday, too. I didn't work Friday night, but I did Saturday, and it was more of the same. It made quite a nice change.
The amount of times I got hit on on Saturday, man. Every guy and their dog was being flirty and acting twitterpated because it's Spring. I couldn't even get some guys to pay with debit without them making jokes about 'sliding their card into the slot'. I felt thrown off, that's usually my joke to play. One dude came in, I could definitely tell he'd been drinking. Hah, 'one dude.' I mean, a certain dude came in, had been drinking and started making the flirty jokes.
Me: Do you have a points number? [Note, we use phone numbers as our points account numbers. This leads to many hilarious situations].
Charmer: You trying to get my phone number or something?
Me: Do you want me to have it? Don't tempt me, I will do something.
Charmer: Nah, I'm taken.
Me: Okay, here's the debit machine.
Charmer: *slides his debit card into the slot* That's as far as you and I go, eh?
Me: Yep, that's as far as we go, you sliding your card into my slot.
Charmer: Too bad.
Me: Yeah, it is. A lot of guys will give me their number and then say 'If the missus answers, hang up!'
Back last summer when I first started working at the liquor store, there was a guy who came in more often named Honey Jack. Edit: I've re-named him this because that's what he drinks the most, so if you're reading this again thinking that he had a different name last time, please save his anonymity because I think that's what he would want. Haven't seen him for a bit, but I think he's been working in BC lately. He was fairly attractive, so I did my best to flirt with him a bit. He'd come in and I'd ask for his number, and he'd always say 'No phone calls after 9.' He did this several times, and so I thought, fuck it. I'm gonna call him once just for shits and giggles. One Saturday I was off work at 8, so I wrote down his number and took it home. Called him up, he didn't answer, so I left a message. No phone call back. The next time he was in, I didn't remember having called him, but we went through the same thing.
Me: What's your points number?
Honey Jack: *gives number* I'd tell you not to call after 9, but I know you'll call me anyways.
Me: AAHHH! Oh yeah! Hahaha, I'd forgotten about that.
Honey Jack: *turns red* I didn't think you'd actually do that, that was hilarious.
Me: But you never called me back!
Honey Jack: Well, I was having a nap at the time, and I didn't know what to say.
Me: Well, you told me to call you like 5 times, I figured I had to.
Honey Jack: ... *turns redder* I thought that was different people each time.
Me: Bahahahaha! Nope, just me :D
I think he had a girlfriend, I saw him with a lady once and there were girlfriendly-vibes coming off of her. Ah well.
Today, being Easter Sunday, I decided I was going to wear bunny ears.
It was cute, most people chuckled a bit, called me 'bunny', and left with a smile. One guy suggested I get the whole Playboy Bunny outfit going on. Then there's Terry. His last name rhymes with his first name, which is kinda funny. My work friend from the bartending job, she knows him, too, from her previous job where he used to come in a lot. She calls him Scary Terry. He's late 40s, has an 18 or 19 yr old son, tells it like it is, and is always good for a laugh and a dirty joke. Terry comes in.
Me: Hi Terry!
Terry: What are you, a fucking bunny rabbit?
Me: I am a fucking bunny rabbit, yes.
Terry: Where's your eggs, then?
Me: Jesus, Terry, you can't just come in and ask me where my eggs are. That's personal!
Terry: Hahaha, but the Easter Bunny has eggs!
Me: Yeah, I'm not the Easter Bunny, my eggs are private!
Terry: Oh, come on!
Me: Nah! My eggs are private.
Terry's a pretty cool guy. I can always swear a lot around him and say the really raunchy things that pop into my head and he'll just laugh and keep on going. Then he tells me when he's had a long day and is going to go home and 'please himself.' I always thank him for that knowledge.
There was another guy in tonight worth mentioning. He looked like he was having a rough day, so I asked him about it.
Me: You okay? You look like you had a rough night.
Guy: My bunny rabbit died.
Me: What?! I'm so sorry.
It was at this point I started to feel like a huge asshole because I had bunny ears on. Do I take them off? Leave them on? Is he telling the truth or was he just joking around? I'm pretty sure he was telling the truth, or else he's a really great actor and kept up the 'performance' the whole way out the store and everything. I left the ears on and tried to be as sympathetic as I could be when someone tells you their pet just died and it looks like you're wearing their dead pet's pelt as a hat.
Tonight was still fairly busy, but only about half as busy as Thursday. It was a good day, and I'm glad everyone was having a good time. One of the guys I work with at the bartending job, he came in and said he was going fishing with his friend. People still heading out of town, or heading back to their homes and stopping over in my town for the night. It would be nice to have an artificial sunshine generator so that I can just shine it at people all the time and then they'll be happy and pleasant, instead of moody and grumpy. Maybe a Care Bear patch on my tummy so I can shine it at them and then they'll cheer up. That would be awesome, but since it probably won't happen, hopefully the weather stays nice enough to let people soak up the rays and get out of their awful winter dreariness.
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